Changing Rules

When my kids were tiny, I had a hard and fast rule- I never, ever went to bed unless my house was spotless. It worked for me then. After several years though, I began to value sleep and downtime more that spotless perfection so I changed my rule to something completely opposite- I never, ever stayed up past the kids’ bedtime in order to clean. I could get my cleaning done during the day and that time, I decided, should be for me to just relax.

But now we’re busier then ever. I run from one thing to the next. There is always something to clean, an errand to run, a baby to rock, a homeschool lesson to finish, a toddler to tickle, a child who needs me, an activity to attend. Between meeting my children’s needs, keeping up with homeschool and housework, and running around to several hours of activities each night, there is usually some household chore that slips through the cracks.

And so I’ve come full circle in my rules. I am back to my original line of thinking- I don’t sit down to rest until the house is cleaned up. I like it. No matter how late we get in at night, I wake up to a spotless house in the morning. I like that even better.

We got home late after wrestling practice tonight. I put the kids to bed and then I tidied up. It only took a few minutes to clean up the baby toys that got left in the family room, put away a discarded pair of winter boots, finish the dishes from dinner, and tidy up a few more things. And now I get to wake up to a clean house in the morning.

I really don’t know why I strayed from this rule for so long…

Letting Go of the Guilt

Last night was another sleepless night for me. Jacob woke up every 2-3 hours to nurse and Asher was up four times for no apparent reason. And poor Joshua threw up once or twice an hour all night long.

When Rick came home from work in the morning, he let me sleep for two more hours. I was surprised when I woke up very refreshed. And I was disappointed when, just two hours later, I found myself tired again.

I am tired. I haven’t slept for about a month. I expect my newborn to keep me up at night. That’s normal and that I can deal with. But for some reason, I never count on Asher keeping me up as well. Even though that boy has never been a good sleeper and has kept me up nights for over a year, I somehow go to bed each night thinking that he’ll sleep. I am always surprised when he doesn’t, and I really shouldn’t be so shocked anymore. Between these two adorable little boys, and occasionally one or two of their adorable older siblings, I’m just not sleeping.

In addition, I’ve never been so busy during the day time. I am homeschooling four kids right now (2nd grade, 1st grade, Kindergarten, and Preschool). With a family of eight, we have more laundry and more dishes  and more clutter than ever before, and it feels like I am constantly cleaning. One day “off” is all it takes to throw our home into cluttered chaos. The kids are busier than ever as well. We attend 16.5 hours of activities a week- currently gymnastics, choir, wrestling, and Maddie is starting gymnastics next week. That does NOT include piano lessons or gymnastics meets or wrestling tournaments, and I don’t even want to total the number of hours we put into those events each week.

I don’t begrudge any of this. In fact, it makes me happy. I love my busy life. I love homeschooling my children. I love running them around the activities that make them so happy. I may not always love the constant cleaning and chores, but I do always love taking care of my family that way. I even enjoy my sleepless nights because the boys that keep me up are so, so sweet. All of this is the life I used to dream of and I am still amazed that now it’s reality.

But I’m still tired. I can be absolutely, completely, totally in love with my life and still be tired at the same time, right?

I must admit that I’ve taken advantage of Thanksgiving break. With no school and no activities, you’d think it would have been very easy for me to keep up on household chores. But instead, I’ve rested and relaxed and played with my kids all day. I haven’t done any laundry or cleaning or dishes for the past two days.

I feel guilty about it. I shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a few days off, but I do. I need to change my perspective. I need to remind myself that laundry and dishes and cleaning can always wait another day. I need to recognize that a mini vacation is good for a person every once in a while. I need to realize that the most important things are still happening- the kids are happy, clean, and fed, we’re having prayers and scripture study, and we’re enjoying our time together. 

Joshua is still sick. He looks terrible. It worries me because it takes so much to keep Josh down. He’s a kid who never acts sick, even when he really is. I’m still not sure what’s going on with him. It could be gluten cross-contamination. It could be a flu bug. I’d feel horrible if it was gluten because that could have been so easily prevented. But I also would hate it if he had the flu because it’s sure to be passed to the other kids as well. I made him a comfy bed on the family room couch. He’s resting and watching TV. I am keeping a close eye on him.

I’d planned to clean like a mad woman today, but I think I’ll put my feet up instead. Looks like more snuggling, coloring, fingernail painting, hair fixing, reading, and movie watching is on the agenda today. If I clean a little, then great. And if I clean nothing at all… well, there’s always tomorrow for that.

Getting Out

It feels like I’ve been stuck in the house since September. First I was sick and/or recovering from being sick, then the kids were sick and/or recovering from being sick, and then we had a baby. Other than occasional doctor visits and a few sporting events or activities, we haven’t left the house much. We haven’t even been to the library in the last month and I think I’ve only gone to the grocery store twice during that time.

Yesterday afternoon we decided to get out of the house. I could feel how much I needed it. The kids all had gift cards to spend (a present when Jacob was born) so we decided that spending their gift cards would be a good outing. It would be fairly brief, but also fun for the kids. I was a little worried about taking Jacob out in public (because of all the ugly germs), but I decided that he’d be okay if we kept him covered, wiped the cart down with sanitizing wipes, and washed everyone’s hands after we left the store. I am keeping him home as much as possible, but I can’t completely quarantine our family until spring.

The kids had such a great time looking through the toy section. They were so thrilled with the freedom that gift cards afforded them. It was very exciting for each of them and I loved seeing how happy they were. It was also interesting to watch the way they each selected their toys. I love to see all the unique differences between my sweet children.

Brenna knew what she wanted right away. She’s been wanting a “Fur Real” pet for a while now and the small ones were on sale. She took a few minutes to select the perfect pet- a little white duckling.

I could see the wheels turning inside Joshua’s little brain as he carefully weighed his options and calculated the costs. He’s very logical and analytical and he’s a math whiz as well. He was very quiet and thoughtful as he perused the toys. First he found a foam sword, figured out how much money he had left to spend and then selected a small race car track.

Madalyn was the most indecisive of all the kids. She grabbed so many different items with great enthusiasm. Some were within her price range and others were much more expensive than the amount she had on her gift card. After a long time and after many toys had been selected and returned to the shelf, Maddie finally decided on a small doll that came with a pet bunny and two little baby bunnies. Maddie loves tiny dolls (3-5 inches tall) so this was perfect for her. She was thrilled.

Braden wanted tools. He told me he wanted tools even before we went to the store. While Brenna looked at the pets, Braden reminded me sweetly and persistently that he needed to find the tools. We all went over there next so that he could pick what he wanted. His first choice was the giant $50 tool bench. He’s been talking about the tool bench since his birthday in May, but it was out of his price range today. (He will be getting it for Christmas anyway.) Most of the tool sets were too expensive so I showed him the one he could afford. I wondered if he’d be sad that he couldn’t get the bigger, fancier sets, but he was excited about the one I showed him. When I explained that he had enough money for that one, he responded, “Then that’s the one I love!”

I felt SO energized and refreshed after our little outing. It was so nice to get out of the house! The blue skies and warm sunshine made it even nicer. And, of course, it was so fun to see how happy the kids were as they each selected the perfect toy.

Brenna had choir practice that evening so we took her there. Afterwards we went out to eat as a family at IHOP. We like to celebrate babies at IHOP, usually eating there once or twice during each pregnancy for various milestones. For example, we ate there the day before I was induced with Brenna, the day after we found out I was pregnant with Joshy, the day we found out Maddie was a girl, and so on. Rick even brought me IHOP stuffed french toast in the hospital after I delivered Asher (the cashier, upon learning that his wife had just delivered a baby, sent him home with a little blue bear too!) So it seemed fitting to celebrate our little Jacob’s arrival with a dinner at IHOP. Once again, it was so nice to be out of the house. I ate stuffed french toast- my favorite IHOP dinner.

At home we put Asher and Jacob to bed and put on a movie for the four older kids. Rick and I took a bubble bath together. We just enjoyed talking and spending time together. As we were talking, we heard the kids yelling something. It sounded like they were yelling, “Braden, hurry up!” But then we realized they were actually yelling, “Braden’s throwing up!”

Rick cleaned up the barf while I cleaned up Braden. I think he ate too much at dinner and his tummy couldn’t handle the large amount of food he stuffed into it.

Once Braden was bathed and dressed in clean pajamas and settled in front of the movie again, Rick and snuggled in bed and talked for a while. Then we watched a movie together. After the movie, Rick sat by me while I fell asleep. It was such a nice, relaxing evening… other than the whole vomiting thing, of course. I had such an enjoyable day yesterday!

Today we are taking things slow. I feel SO GOOD, but I don’t want to overdo anything. So I am really, really trying to just pace myself right now, in spite of how good I actually feel. I’ve done three loads of laundry today so our laundry is all caught up. The house is completely tidy, other than the kids’ bedrooms which they are still working on. The kitchen is clean thanks to my handsome husband so all I need to do is unload the dishwasher and put away the pots, pans, and mixing bowls that he washed by hand and left to dry on the counter. I’d like the vacuum this afternoon; the family room especially needs it. The bathrooms are scoured and the garbage has been gathered.

When the three little boys goes down for afternoon naps, I am going to take a shower. I am still in my pajamas because I am waiting to shower before I get dressed. When the jobs are finished and the little boys wake up from their naps, I’d like to take everyone to the park. They could use the playtime  and I want to take advantage of this gorgeous weather before it is gone.

Brenna has gymnastics this afternoon. Rick is going to take her so that he can work out while she practices. Joshua has wrestling practice tonight, just 30 minutes after Brenna finishes gymnastics. Rick will be working so I am going to take all the kids to practice. I’m looking forward to getting out of the house again and to watching Joshua practice.

The rest of this week should be easy and slow-paced. Next week things will get busier because we’re starting homeschool (along with piano lessons and job charts) again and because Joshua has wrestling practice four nights a week beginning next week. So even though I feel like cleaning like crazy and running lots of errands, I am trying to enjoy this slow week while it lasts.

Feeling Good

My little boys are doing so well! They’ve both been fever-free for 48-hours now so they are “officially” not contagious anymore! Their coughs are still yucky and will probably linger for a while, but they are both acting totally normal again. It’s great to see!

Today’s plan… disinfect the entire house! We’ve been washing hands, separating kids, and I’ve been trying to keep germy surfaces clean. But with everyone well again and a newborn coming any time, I am going to spend the day washing and sanitizing EVERYTHING. Death to all germs!

We have a busy two days planned- today and tomorrow- with cleaning, disinfecting, grocery shopping, gymnastics, a wrestling meeting, a football party, a doctor’s appointment (OB), and an all-day trip to the pumpkin patch. I am looking forward to all of it now that my little boys are finally feeling good again!

Spotless

I just heard Rick ask the kids if the family room was spotless. When they replied that it was, Rick responded, “Spotless enough that Dad would pass it off? Or spotless enough that Mom would pass it off?” It made me chuckle out loud because there can be quite a difference between our two versions of spotless!

To the Lowest Bidder

Asher is still running a fever and although he doesn’t have any other symptoms to speak of (other than a slight cough), the fever alone is making him pretty miserable. He just wants to be held and I am happy to oblige. I’ve spent most of the day just rocking my feverish little guy. He’s slept in his crib briefly, but prefers to be held.

For the time being, I’ve decided to let “good enough be good enough” when it comes to household chores so I’m not obsessing over scrubbing toilets or washing down walls or organizing the pantry. But there are still basic household tasks that need to be accomplished each day. I cannot let dishes stack up or leave the house cluttered. With a feverish, clingy baby in my arms, I decided to call upon my older children for their help.

I talked with Brenna and Joshua about the bids that contractors and others will make for various services. Once the kids understood the concept, we made a list of four household chores that I wanted to hire help for. Both kids bid on the chores. After each bid, the other child was given a chance to bid lower if they chose or to pass. It was interesting to see what the kids started the bidding at. It was also interesting to see how low they were willing to place their bids for certain chores.

Each of the kids won two bids and had about the same amount of money that they’d be paid total. (I was pleased that it worked out so well.) Both of them signed their names next to their bids, promising to complete the jobs and I signed my name next to theirs, promising to pay them when the jobs were done. We came up with a few bonus rewards as well for completing the chores in a timely manner.

The kids set to work right away on their jobs and I don’t think I’ve seen them work as diligently and cheerfully as they are now. The concept of bidding for the jobs really seems to motivate them. I am glad to see them working hard and I’m excited that a few basic chores will soon be finished. I’m also so thankful for two amazing little children and their extra help.

Good Enough

A very wise person recently told me (in a comment here on my blog) that “sometimes good enough has to be good enough.” I have been thinking about this so much over the past few days. I know that she’s right. It’s great when everything gets done, but sometimes good enough really does have to be good enough.

My recent illness really wiped me out and I still don’t have my normal energy level back. And being nine months pregnant and dealing with lots of labor symptoms, makes me tired as well. Plus, Asher is cutting molars and now he’s running a nasty fever as well so neither one of us has been sleeping well at night.

I have a list a mile long of everything that needs to be done currently and everything that I need to catch up on and everything that I need to prepare before the baby arrives. There is tons to do and I don’t have nearly enough energy to do it all.

So I have decided that- for right now anyway- good enough has to be good enough. It needs to be good enough that the kids are happy, clean, and fed. It needs to be good enough that the house is tidy and that the laundry and the dishes are getting done. It needs to be good enough that I am snuggling my children and spending cozy mornings at home. The rest of the housework will just have to wait. The many projects that I need to finish will have to wait too. In fact, as hard as it is for me to admit it, most of the items on my list CAN wait until later.

I am certain that SOON my energy level will be up again and that SOON Asher will feel better. At that point, I can catch up on everything that is being neglected now. And until then I will snuggle my sick, clingy baby, I’ll spend time with my other children, I’ll keep up on the basic household necessities that really can’t be overlooked, and I’ll continually remind myself that all that is good enough for me!

A Lack of Energy

I am so unmotivated today. Well, no, that’s not true. I am actually VERY motivated! I WANT to clean and get projects done. I WANT to finish my laundry and do my dishes. I WANT to encourage the kids and keep them motivated to finish their own chores. Really, I do.

But I am seriously lacking the ENERGY needed to do all those things. Perhaps it’s because I’m just getting over a nasty combination of pneumonia and the flu. Or maybe it’s because I am almost 9 months pregnant. Or it could be because I got up at 5:45am with a grouchy 14-month-old. Or maybe I am just plain lazy. But, for whatever reason, I am exhausted and it’s not even lunch time yet.

I think of what needs to be done. I stand up to go do it. I walk down the stairs, have a major contraction and feel my legs turn to jelly. I get a cookie and go sit back down. I rest for a few minutes. I think of what needs to be done. I stand up… You get the idea. It’s a nasty little cycle. I’ve sat down a lot this morning, eaten a lot of cookies, and gotten very little accomplished.

Somewhere inside of me there must be a hidden well of strength and energy, right? I just need to find it.

UPDATE…

I exercised lightly, hoping that it would boost my energy level. I managed to get two loads of laundry washed and folded. I have one more in the dryer, but it’s just sheets and towels so it will be easy to finish. I got the bathrooms and hallway tidied and cleaned up the living room and family room. I really need to get to the kitchen; the dishes and counters need some attention.

My kids have been very unmotivated lately. They are usually such good helpers, but they just keep goofing around and playing. After several days of messy bedrooms I finally gave them an ultimatum. I told them that if they can’t get their rooms picked up, I’m going to put their toys and books and anything else that is out of place into an extended “time out.” I hope that will motivate them to clean up their stuff, but right now they are still playing together.

Errands

I am dragging and it’s only 3pm. I had an early start to the day (which I already blogged about so I won’t repeat anything). Then the kids and I spent the morning cleaning. Well, to clarify, I spent the morning cleaning while the kids goofed off. They are usually great helpers, but they have “off” days somtimes. Today was certainly an “off” day.

We left the house around 10:30 to run errands. I haven’t been out much recently because I’ve been sick and it felt great to get out in the sunshine and the perfectly cool fall air. The sky was blue, the sun was bright, the air was just cool enough for sweaters but not cold enough to require jackets. I love this time of year!

We went to Target first where we browsed baby clothes and shoes and car seats. I didn’t find much of what I was looking for, but I did buy a high-back booster seat for Rick’s car. I am adamant about car seat safety so Brenna and Joshua both ride in car seats with 5-point harnesses. But every once in a while Rick needs to take one of the older kids (usually Josh) somewhere and they’ve both finally outgrown the car seat in his car. I didn’t want to pay $200 for a seat that the kids would ride in on very rare occasions so I went ahead and bought a $50 booster seat instead. I hate it already, but I am glad that I bought it. (I know, I know, that is a big contradiction!) Of course, the kids will continue to ride in their 5-point Radian car seats for a long while to come and will only use the booster seat when Rick absolutely has to take one of the somewhere while I have the other kids and the van.

We went to a children’s clothing consignment shop next. I was hoping to find a few really good deals and found nothing. Oh well. You win some and lose some when it comes to second-hand shopping. 

Walmart was last on the list and by then, my energy was draining rapidly. I bought Oxi-clean and milk and a new mouth guard for Joshua and found a few fleece preemie outfits for our new little guy. I also bought cookies as bribery- the kids who finished their chores once we got home would get cookies.

There was a face painting table set up in the kids department so the four older kids all got their faces painted. They listened to a volunteer read The Very Hungry Caterpiller and they were each presented with a box of free crayons. Believe me, it was a very exciting day in the kids department! My children were thrilled!

By this time I was ready to melt into a puddle on the floor. I was having lots of contractions and my abdomen felt crampy. I was queasy and my head was hurting and my energy was completely gone. It was hard to wait with the kids during stories and face painting because I literally felt like I would collapse any second. I even opened the bribery cookies and nibbled one, hoping that the sugar rush would help me feel more stable.

We finally left Walmart. The fresh air felt soothing to me. It made me glad to see my children beaming so happily with little pictures painted on their cheeks and a fresh box of crayons in each of their hands. The kids helped me unload groceries at home and I fed everyone a late lunch of leftovers.

I think I will put off the rest of my “to do” list in favor of resting. I hope my headache goes away and my contractions stop. I also hope that the kids will be motivated by cookies and will actually do their chores this afternoon. I really am glad that we got out of the house today. I just wish I felt a little better right now.

Sick Days

I am still feeling awful so we are taking it easy today. We’re keeping the house clean and the dishes done. The kids are homeschooling today, but not their afternoon classes. I am going to try to get at least two loads of laundry done. We’re staying home from football practice and I am calling to cancel the kids’ flu shots that were scheduled for today. It should be a restful day and hopefully it will help me kick this bug.

*   *   *

7:15pm… I am pleasantly surprised by how well things are going even during this nasty sinus infection. My older three kids have been really pitching in so that helps a lot. We got our homeschool done, kept up on the dishes, kept the house completely tidy, and washed, folded, and put away two loads of laundry. Even with all that, I’ve been able to rest a lot, which is good for me right now. I’m still feeling awful, but I’m glad that at least I won’t have tons of work to catch up on after I feel better.