Messy (now tidy!) Rooms and Meandering Thoughts

My kids’ rooms are clean! Top to bottom, in the corners and closets, under the beds, on the dressers. They are perfectly organized and perfectly spotless! It took much of the day to accomplish this (with six kids helping) and I love the end result! I pause whenever I pass their bedroom doors, just so I can savor the tidiness for a moment.

It’s too bad they weren’t clean when my family was in town recently. The kids’ rooms both looked like their dressers and toy boxes and “special shelves” had belched all over the floor. It was not a pretty sight, and one it was really embarrassing for me.

The kids’ rooms are tiny and they are shared by three small children each. On top of that, I try to allow each child some freedom of expression and sense of self. They are free to decorate walls and dressers, and to save whatever “junk” is really a treasure to them. That adds to the clutter, of course.

The rooms look nice when they are neat, but it doesn’t take much to make them look like absolute disasters instead. It bothers me that they get they way. I feel a lot of mommy guilt over the kids’ bedrooms, mostly because I don’t like them messy in the first place and also because it was so much easier to keep them clean when the kids were smaller and fewer in number.

I have to remind myself that my life was a lot different back then too. There were less kids in each room, they were younger so I had more control over their stuff, and we weren’t nearly as busy as we are now. Then I try to justify and tell myself that spotless rooms don’t make me a better mom to my kids anyway. In my heart, I know that is true. Clean rooms do not make me a better mom. But saying it really does little to ease my guilt.

I am not sure what the solution is. I’ve tried organizing the kids’ bedrooms more frequently. I’ve tried closing the door and letting the kids live in their clutter if they choose. I’ve tried rewards. I’ve tried consequences. Nothing really seems to help. The bedrooms look wonderful when they are tidy, but fall into disarray very quickly and the kids don’t really seem to mind.

Maybe I need to focus more on letting go of the guilt and less on keeping their rooms perfect.

I guess all of life really is a “work in progress.” I’m not perfect. I’m not SuperMom. But I can say that I am doing my very best and giving everything I have. I truly am an imperfect, striving-to-improve, work in progress. Sometimes just that knowledge that I am doing all that I can, needs to be enough.

Late Night Date

Rick and I stayed awake until about 3:30 this morning. It wasn’t really a planned thing, it just sort of worked out that way. We see a lot less of each other while he works nice and we’ve missed each other during the last four months. He starts back on days this week and I guess we just needed a date to celebrate!

We talked a lot, discussed homeschool and kids and household things, laughed together, ate nachos at midnight, and watched a movie. It was a nice night, and I completely enjoyed spending hours with just my husband. It was totally worth the lost sleep.

Practice and Hard Work

Brenna is doing so great with her new team. She has really improved in just a few weeks there. She has perfected her Level 4 skills and is mastering a lot of her Level 5 skills as well. With her Level 5 training, Brenna is being forced to step out of her comfort zone. She is doing this with such courage and it’s paying off as she achieves her goals. I am so proud of her for that. Her Level 4 routines are looking so polished and beautiful. It’s fun to watch.

At the end of practice recently, the head coach pulled out some waterpark tickets. The coaches all voted for the girl who had worked the hardest in practice and they voted for Brenna. She received two waterpark tickets as a reward for her hard work and she was beaming when I picked her up. (As a side note, we now have two sets of two tickets each from two different waterparks: one from Brenna and one from Madalyn’s recent cheer performance. I wish they were both at the same park!)

As I mentioned, Brenna is training as a Level 5 gymnast and working very hard. She’s not quite ready to compete as a Level 5 though. Rick and I really debated whether we should just have her train as a Level 5 and not compete this season, or whether we should let her have one final competition season as a Level 4. Of course, she really wanted to compete again and in the end we decided to let her. Her first competition is in mid September and she is so excited.

I am really proud of my baby girl. She is a beautiful, confident gymnast and she is working so hard to reach her goals. Gymnastics has been such a great experience for Brenna, in so many ways. I am thankful that we’ve had the means to let her participate and compete. I’m thankful that we were prompted to put her into this new gym. I love seeing how good gymnastics is for Brenna and how much she loves it.

Potty Training Woes

It’s always been my experience that just when you think you have some aspect of parenting figured out, along comes a child who is capable of proving you wrong.

My first four babies were great sleepers so I assumed that I had a handle on the whole sleeping-through-the-night thing. Then along came Asher, who never slept in spite of all my best tactics and tricks and who proved quite quickly that I really knew nothing about how to get babies to sleep at night.

I successfully nursed four babies, three of them into toddlerhood, and assumed I’d always have successful, rewarding nursing experiences from then on. Enter Jacob who had a terrible latch and constant thrush, which led to lots of pain and bleeding and swelling on my part. It was an intense struggle to nurse him for eight long, painful months. So I guess I don’t know as much about easy nursing as I thought I did.

I tend to have a relaxed way of potty training my kids. And by “relaxed” I mean that I generally leave them alone until they decide to potty train themselves. I provide them with understanding, resources, and lots of encouragement and praise, but the choice to actually potty train is left entirely up to them. So far, through four kids, this system has worked very well. Somewhere between two and half and three years old, they’ve all potty trained themselves in a matter of days, with very few accidents.

After successfully potty training four toddlers/preschoolers, I have assumed that it would be easy to potty train the rest of the kids who reached that age. Enter Asher.

Asher has been my earliest child to show “readiness” signs. At just a year and half, he would often tell me that he needed to go minutes before he actually did. He even had a few toilet successes. I wondered if he would potty train early since he was so aware of his body before he had even turned two.

Asher, now two years and nearly two months old, has recently started asking for underwear. This is usually my cue to put a toddler into underwear and let them potty train themselves… but Asher is much younger than my other kids were when they first wanted underwear and that made me hesitate. Worrying that Asher was too young to really potty train without multiple accidents, I have insisted that he stay in diapers.

Asher has decided to take matters into his own hands. When he needs to go, he strips out of his clothes and diaper and relieves himself in a corner. He still does go in his diaper sometimes and he often strips for no reason at all. (He’s in a major “naked phase” right now, and frequently struts around in the nude, baring it all with obvious pride.)

I tried taping his diaper on him, but somehow he was able to wiggle out of it anyway. I’ve tried onesies and footed pajamas and overalls, but when the urge strikes, he can get out of those as well.

With a new puppy in the house, I already have enough poop in my corners. And since Asher seems to possess a fairly keen awareness of his bodily needs, I finally decided to let him try underwear.

The first few hours were a great success. Asher made several trips to the toilet and stayed dry for most of the day. He loved his undies and wore them proudly. Then, caught up in the moment while dancing with his brother Braden, Asher pooped his underwear. Nice.

I am not sure exactly where to go from here. Part of me wants to continue with potty training, undeterred by poopy underwear and accidents and extra laundry, and see what happens. But the other part of me wants to tape him back in a diaper and wait until he’s older.

Team Party

Joshua’s wrestling team party was yesterday. We’d all been looking forward to seeing our wonderful team family. I didn’t feel well though so I kept our little guys home with me while Rick and the four older kids went to the party.

The kids came home so full of excitement. Apparently it was a pretty great party! There was lots of great food and the company was even better. They had competitions on the trampoline, and even the adults got in on the action.

Someone on our team put together an awesome highlight video of the boys’ year, with pictures set to music. There was a section for each of the boys and some group pictures as well. All the boys got a nice, big trophy engraved with their name.

Several boys were given an award for having more than 100 wins during the course of the year. Joshua joined the team halfway through the year so his wins from November through February didn’t count. Even so, he racked up an impressed 60 wins between March and April and three more events in May and June.

Joshua is ranked #2 in the state for his age division (all weight classes combined), #16 in the state for all ages, and #2 in the nation for his age and weight. His awesome team is ranked #2 elite team in the nation.

I am so glad that Joshua has a sport that he loves. I am especially thankful that we made the choice to move him to this new team, where the coaches and the friends are both better. Of course, Josh can hardly wait for next season to begin and is already counting down the days until October (tournaments won’t begin until November).

In a Nutshell

Our Saturday, in a nutshell… Rick played basketball with his friends after work this morning. Brenna had a make-up practice at gymnastics so I left with her and Asher as soon as Rick got home. (Rick kindly stayed with the other kids.) I was so impressed with how hard Brenna worked and how much she has improved in just the last few weeks with her new team. Rick went to bed when we got home. My stomach was bothering me so we had a lazy day. I worked on more lesson plans (I am trying to finish an entire year of extensive preschool lesson plans so it’s taking a while) while the kids played. It was a slow, quiet… except for when Asher dumped the quinoa… oh, and the time when he stripped out of his clothes and diaper (there were some unpleasant results)…  In the afternoon I got the kids ready with swimming suits, towels, and flip flops. At 4pm I woke Rick. He took Brenna, Joshua, Madalyn, Braden to Joshua’s wrestling party. My tummy was still bothering me, enough that I didn’t feel like going out, eating, or being social. I kept Asher and Jacob home so Rick wouldn’t have to worry about them at the lake and the barbecue. Asher must have been tired because he climbed right into Jacob’s crib in our room and fell soundly asleep. Jacob played in our room for a while. I tickled him and cuddled him and enjoyed time with only him. When Jake got fussy I rocked him to sleep. It was very, very quiet at our house with four kids gone and two babies napping. I just rested, watched TV, and enjoyed the time to relax. Asher woke up screaming mad. I fed the boys and put them into pajamas. When Daddy and the big kids arrived home, we watched Joshua’s wrestling video, settled our rowdy kids in bed, and then Rick went off to work.

Blast From the Past: Baby Asher and the Watermelon

I recently came across these pictures of Asher eating watermelon on the 4th of July. They were taken just a few days before Asher turned one. He has always loved watermelon!

Translation?

I was getting Asher into his pajamas.

“Eh-uh-ner-aw-er,” he stated assertively. It was a brand new word for him and I had no idea what he meant. My hesitation in answering prompted him to expound with, “Asher eh-uh-ner-aw-er.”

“What do you want, Asher?”

“Eh-uh-ner-aw-er.”

“What?”

“Eh-uh-ner-aw-er.”

I tried suggesting possibilities, but wasn’t getting any closer to understanding. Braden was listening in on our confusing conversation and he finally stated matter-of-factly, “Mom, he wants underwear.”

“Yeah!” Asher confirmed quickly. “Asher eh-uh-ner-aw-er!”

I was so thankful for my pint-sized translator! He speaks Asher-ese even better than I do!

Junk Food… STAT

Rick has one week left working the night shift before he is back on days again. I can hardly wait. Nights are hard on me and hard on the kids as well.

Our weekends are short because Daddy has to spend time sleeping during the day even when he doesn’t have to work that night. During the work week, we don’t see him at all because he sleeps and then gets up and goes right to work. 12-hour shifts are long on days too, but at least then he comes home and can spend time with us, play with the kids, and help with bedtime. And I hate sleeping alone. I just never sleep as well when Rick is gone.

We had a good day today. It was relaxed and peaceful. I did laundry and chores. The kids played happily and I got a good amount preschool lesson planning accomplished. I was feeling happy and content.

I knew Rick would be going to work when he woke up. So why was it that when Rick did wake up, I was suddenly so sad to see him go? I mean, I expected it. I knew it was coming. Why did it make me feel so suddenly sad and lonely? Even after spending the last four months on nights, I guess I am still not used to it.

I need a pick-me-up tonight. So I told the kids that if they get their toys picked up and put all their freshly folded laundry away, that we can go buy some treats and get a movie for tonight. I need to load the dinner dishes and switch the laundry (because that is a constant process) and get the little boys all washed and into pajamas.

I hope the kids follow through with their jobs. I could really use a big bag of junk food tonight… ice cream, chips, chocolate… Hmmm. I love “comfort food” and there’s nothing like fattening, sugary, junky junk food to help me feel better. Add six great kids to share all that junky goodness with and I won’t even have a reason to be lonely anymore!

Random and Rambling Thoughts

It has been a quiet day today. The boys have a renewed love for our GeoTracks train set. They have spent two days happily building enormous, elaborate tracks and then tearing them down and starting all over again. Maddie and Brenna played with dolls during the day, and are now playing “pet shop” with a friend. Jacob has taken a surprisingly long nap this afternoon and Asher konked out on the family room couch.

With the kids all sleeping or entertained, I’ve spent the afternoon sitting on the couch working on preschool lesson plans. I am giving my preschool schedule a complete make-over this year and it’s proven to be a much larger undertaking than I’d imagined. It is quite time-consuming and I hope that I am happy with the end result. I needed a better schedule and curriculum, with more clear goals, and I needed something that would better balance the needs of my younger homeschoolers and my older ones. Hopefully these changes will help with those things.

There is one spot in the living room that is always extra cool and that is where I’ve been sitting while I work. My tummy isn’t big yet, but as I approach the last trimester of this pregnancy, I am already in the perpetually hot phase. If summer is over and school has started, why hasn’t the weather cooled off yet? I’ve had enough of summer heat, and I am really looking forward to the crisp air of autumn!

I don’t have a favorite season, but I do always love the in-between time as one season morphs into another. I look towards that new season with such anticipation. It makes me nostalgic too, but in a content way.

That’s where I am now- anticipating fall. I am so excited for cooler weather, for warm dinners, for cute sweaters. I am excited for the days to get shorter because there is something magical about a warm, cozy house as the sun goes down.

I’m looking forward to our new fall schedule, to brand-new subjects and classes and textbooks, and to fun-filled activities and projects and field trips. I am excited for the kids’ fall activities to start because, even though it will make my own schedule so busy, it will also make my sweet kids very happy.

I am eagerly anticipating the holidays! Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas… they are all so much fun, especially because one holiday just leads right into the next this time of year. I am looking forward to making fun holiday crafts and treats, to carrying on our beloved traditions and to starting new traditions as well. The holidays are such a fun, fun time of year and I’ll admit that my head is currently swimming with sentimental day dreams of what this holiday season will bring.

And then there is our baby boy. His arrival still seems so far away and I am continually surprised when I realize that he’ll be here in a matter of months. This pregnancy is passing so quickly for me, and I still feel so blessed to be welcoming another sweet son into our family.

When I was pregnant with Brenna, I knew how far along I was down to the week and day. I could easily say “I’m 32 weeks and 3 days pregnant,” without even pausing to think. This time I can’t seem to remember anything more than the fact that I am due in December. I feel a little bad about it, but… What can I say? I’m busy and my head is full and the days and weeks pass so quickly that I lose track of them easily. Plus, my due date has changed so many times that I don’t even feel like I have an “official” due date anymore, and that makes it hard to know “exactly” how far along I am as well. So I am sticking with the “due in December” line because of my ever-changing due date, and trying not to feel bad that I don’t know precisely how many weeks and days I am at any given moment.

But even though I am not good at “pregnancy math” this time around, that doesn’t indicate a lesser love or involvement than I felt in previous pregnancies. I am so excited to be pregnant again, and I am positively thrilled to be having another little boy. I daydream about my little guy quite often and I love feeling his many kicks and wiggles and turns, which get stronger every day. I am excited to welcome another precious child into our home and I feel eternally blessed at all we’ve been given. I cannot watch my darling little boys play together without imagining another brother in the mix.

Our children are eager for his arrival as well. They remember him in their daily prayers and they love to feel his kicks. Asher gives my tummy sweet kisses and I have trained him to say “Baby Drew” even though this baby still does not actually have a name. Drew seems to fit, and it is my top choice for this little boy. If it were up to me he’d already be named, but I am willing to wait until Rick and I agree on something.

I’ve been thinking about our future children as well, our sweet baby #8 in particular. Having just turned 30 in July, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own fertility as well. I feel so blessed to have this chance to bring children into the world, to provide physical bodies and a loving home for this precious spirits of our Heavenly Father.

It’s strange to think that with #7 arriving soon, our family could be (and probably is) more than halfway complete. It’s strange to think that I am likely halfway through my childbearing years as well. Those thoughts had me reeling emotionally for a time, but I feel much more settled and peaceful now. I am certain that if we follow the promptings we receive, we will be both guided and blessed. There is no need for me to worry over the future, as long as I am doing Heavenly Father’s will in the present.

I feel blessed and happy and excited and thankful.